sad

Tonight I baked cookies to bring to some friends I had not seen in a while. I was hoping to invite them over this weekend to fix them a nice dinner and catch up on all the latest. I put 7 huge chocolate chip & toffee cookies on a pretty plate, labeled it with a "Made for you with love by Amy" sticker, hopped in the car and drove the 12 seconds down the street to their house. I knocked on the door and stood in the doorway with a big smile on my face, cookies in both hands in front of me.

*****The friends I was there to visit are our neighbors from the condo we lived in before moving to our house. I became friends with Mrs. P, over the course of a few years, while our dogs played on the driving range in front of our condos. She is no less than 50 years older than me, but she laughed at the same things I laughed at, her little white yippy dog (Sissy) loved to run and play with my huge wolf dog (and the wiener, God bless Bosco), and she was always very happy to see me. We would meet out front with the dogs and then I'd walk with her up and down the range while she told me about her grandkids and I told her about Joseph. Eventually, I started to take food to the Ps, and then Mr. P became quite fond of me too. Any time I made soup I took them some and I quickly learned that they LOVED sweets. I enjoyed how happy the food I brought made them, and it was nice to have someone to share extra leftovers with who appreciated it. Mrs. P would wait a few weeks and then bring me back a big pile of clean tupperware containers and lids. Joseph would always see her coming (it took a while) and yell "Sissy's mom is coming to talk to you!" so that I could answer the door and he could avoid a long conversation. They have been the only neighbors I've ever considered friends while living in Texas.*****

Mr. P answered the door and I handed him the cookies. I asked if he had gotten the note I left earlier inviting them to my house for dinner tomorrow. He took the cookies, then looked down at his hands and then back up at me. A knot formed in my gut. He said, "Marilyn isn't here, she's with our daughter. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's this week and she's pretty mad at me right now so she's with our daughter. So I think I better take a rain-check on dinner." He went on to explain that he'd been noticing signs for a while and had made the appointment behind her back because he knew she wouldn't go willingly. Since being diagnosed, she has started medication, but is still too angry to come home, so she's staying with their daughter for a few days. He looked at his hands most of the time but at one point looked up and said, "I knew she'd be mad at me, I knew they'd all be mad at me, but I did the right thing and that will be clear in the end." I said over and over how sad I was to hear that, that I was so sorry.

I am a sucky lazy ass for not going back to see them more after we moved. Their place is literally 4 streets over, a 5 minute walk. I walk my dogs every day and could rarely be bothered to go the other direction, to pay a visit to some friends who would have been very glad to see me. It doesn't do any good to feel bad about things I did or didn't do, but I do. I missed out on a year of being a friend to Mrs. P because I moved 1/2 a mile away, and now it's too late. I don't know a whole lot about Alzheimer's but I know more than I'd care to, and it's all AWFUL. I would wish that on no one, especially not Sissy's mom.

If you pray tonight, say a prayer for my dear friends.